Category Archives: Uncategorized

Enough with the Booties, Already!

Selling a property isn’t brain surgery. So why ask agents and potential buyers to wear surgical booties when they step inside your house? Nobody wants to look like this:

SAMSUNG

Need more inspiration? Watch this favorite from my video archives:

How do YOU feel about booties?

Cynthia Cummins is a Top Producer and Partner at McGuire. For info on SF real estate visit http://CynthiaCummins.com.

Asphalt Flowers, Hidden Art

SAMSUNG

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

          –from “Where the Sidewalk Ends” by Shel Silverstein

One ordinary Tuesday, I was delighted to discover a garden of “asphalt flowers” enclosed by mural-adorned walls. I was out on brokers’ tour and had parked my car on Cook where it dead ends north of Geary.

SAMSUNG

Normally on Tuesdays I’m running around town like a harried hare, trying to see as much property as possible. But for some reason — on this particular day — I decided I had time to investigate what was behind a crumbly gate next to what looked like an old school building.

SAMSUNG

Turns out I’d found the site of the old Geary School. I did a little bit of internet research later to find that it closed in 1974 for seismic reinforcement and (according to one source) was subsequently torn down. The building that fronts Cook looks an awful lot like a circa 1930s schoolhouse to me, but I couldn’t find any good answers about the fate of the school. Signs on the building indicate it’s still in use by the SFUSD, although for what I couldn’t tell. But I diverge.

As you can see in the photo above, apparently the colorful murals were painted by kids at the school in 1973! They’re in beautiful condition. For example, see this happy wagon:

SAMSUNG

And this shy green spider.

SAMSUNG

And the pink bird of happiness.

SAMSUNG

And a beautiful butterfly.

SAMSUNG

Plus a cheerful bat.

SAMSUNG

A talkative reptile (though we can’t quite make out what he’s saying).

SAMSUNG

And, of course, every garden needs a bunny and a dragon.

SAMSUNG

Where, oh, where are the children now who painted these walls in 1973? If you are one of them, please let me know?

 

Cynthia Cummins is a Top Producer and Partner at McGuire. For info on SF real estate visit http://CynthiaCummins.com.

Throwback Thursday: The Realtor/Stripper Connection

Sally Rand, striptease artist

This post from August 2012 when the market was really starting to heat up.

I was the most popular gal in San Francisco on a recent Sunday afternoon. (Not counting the hard-working women employed at the Gold Club, of course.)

That’s because I had a hot new listing that everybody wanted. It was in fantastic shape, freshly remodeled and beautifully staged. It smelled divine. It was totally available and it was really cheap (relatively speaking).

As a result, everybody who came to the open house loved the place and, in an attempt to butter me up, loved me too.

If you’re ever feeling down about yourself, just get a California Real Estate License, procure a well-priced listing in our fair city, hold an open house and stand in the foyer handing out flyers. You can be as repellant as Donald Trump and people will still find something to compliment you about. They will dig deep to sweet-talk you.

“That smiley-face tie is so arty!”

“Your purple cell phone is the nicest one I’ve ever seen!”

“These chocolate chip cookies are fantastically tasty! Did you buy them at Safeway yourself?”

Generally speaking, agents are even more shameless than the general public. They flatter you about how skinny you’ve gotten; how you’re so darn tiny all of a sudden?! (Always amusing, since on the morning of my open house, I’d torn my bathroom apart in search of a safety pin to let my pants out an inch or two.)

Anyway, I counted 100-plus visitors to that open house; pretty heady stuff. It’s like having the ultimate my-parents-are-out-of-town party of your dreams—everybody wants in! People can’t move from the front to the back because the hallway is so crowded. Yet, unlike the guests at an impromptu high school bacchanal, your open house visitors are polite and respectful. Nobody is raiding the liquor cabinet or throwing up in the hydrangeas.

With an attractive San Francisco listing to show, a REALTOR®—at least for two hours every weekend—can be the most popular person in an entire neighborhood. No wonder we agents plaster our photos all over the place.

Think about it. In what other profession do practitioners affix their photos to every communication or marketing vehicle? Not doctors, lawyers or Indian chiefs. Not tinkers, tailors or internet wunderkinds.

You guessed it: Strippers. It’s what strippers do! Maybe that’s why so many successful REALTORS® have what sound like successful stripper names.

Remember the trick about how to discover your stripper name? You combine the name of your first pet with the name of the street you lived on as a kid. Using this technique, my alter ego’s handle is Blue Laurel.

Just for fun, I tried creating stripper names using a new method. I mixed up the first and last names of Bay Area real estate agents (to be fair, I threw both my real names into the pot). Here are some of the results: Missy Cummins, Francesca Holmes, Eva Wood, Adam Upjohn, Mona Cherry, Candace Merryman, Max Shine, Luba Hand, Cynthia Ho.

I bet you can come up with some better ones yourself; just go to any real estate website and start mixing.

Blue Laurel. Not bad for the stage. But not great either. I think I’ll stick with my day job.

Cynthia Cummins is a Top Producer and Partner at McGuire. For info on SF real estate visit http://CynthiaCummins.com.

 

Hot on Tuesday Tour: “Same As It Ever Was”

SAMSUNG

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife

And you may ask yourself, ‘Well, how did I get here?’

from Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads

“Same As It Ever Was” is just one work on display (and available for purchase) at 2222 15th Street, a delightful “secret garden” condo that shows like a veritable art gallery, thanks to an abundance of natural light and smart staging. Represented by Lance Fulford at Alain Pinel, the spacious one bedroom is listed for $699,000.

Check out the condo’s website for more information (and better photos than mine). Or contact me to schedule a showing.

SAMSUNG SAMSUNG SAMSUNG SAMSUNG