Is This My House?
Nod to “Are You My Mother” by P. D. Eastman
BB was looking for a move-in 3-bedroom Edwardian on a quiet block near her job at UCSF.
She called a nice Realtor to help her.
“Oh!” said the nice Realtor, “I’ll start looking for just the right house for you.”
The nice Realtor knew there would not be many choices. The market was quiet.
“But you can go to some open houses and look online in the meantime,” the nice Realtor said. She knew BB was excited to get started.
BB looked online. She scrolled. And scrolled. And scrolled.
“Where is my house?” she said.
She looked on Zillow.
She looked on Realtor.com.
She said, “I will go to some open houses.”
She came to a new-construction condo on a busy street. “Is this my house?” BB said. The nice Realtor said, “No. You wanted a place on a quiet street.”
The new-construction condo was not her house, so BB kept looking.
She came to a fixer. “Is this my house?” BB said. The nice Realtor said, “No. You wanted something that is all done.”
The new-construction condo was not her house. The fixer was not her house. So, BB kept looking.
She came to a TIC unit. “Is this my house?” BB said. The nice Realtor said, “No. You said you wanted a single family home and would consider a condo but never a TIC.”
The new-construction condo was not her house. The fixer was not her house. The TIC was not her house. So, BB kept looking.
She came to a small residential investment property. “Is this my house?” BB said. The nice Realtor said, “No. Even with the rental income, you cannot afford this building. And it is nowhere near UCSF!”
The new-construction condo was not her house. The fixer was not her house. The TIC was not her house. The small residential investment property was not her house. So, BB kept looking.
She looked in Sunnyside.
She looked in Parkside.
She looked in Ingleside.
She looked in Lakeside.
“Where am I?” said BB, “I just want my house!”
“I will find your house,” said the nice Realtor, “Please be patient. I will find it.”
“But I want it now!” said BB, “Where else can I look? I looked in Sunnyside. I looked in Parkside. I looked in Ingleside. I looked in Lakeside!”
The nice Realtor said, “Maybe skip all the sides and stick to places near UCSF. Or is that not important anymore?”
“That’s the #1 thing,” said BB.
“Then how about this cool condo I found off-market? It’s in Duboce Triangle and it doesn’t have a third bedroom, but it’s pretty close to UCSF.”
The nice Realtor showed BB the cool Edwardian condo.
“Oh!” cried BB. “This is not new construction. This is not a fixer. This is not on a busy block. This is not a TIC. This is not out of my budget. It is near the N-Judah and only 15 minutes from UCSF. And I don’t have to have a third bedroom. This is my house and you are my always-agent!”
~ The End ~
